There are many reasons why I write: as a form of self-expression; a way to structure my thoughts; a means to let friends whom I don't see often (or even those that I do) keep up with my life.
Frankly, for the last couple of years, this blog has existed mainly for that last reason: an effort to upkeep connections with people in my life. It is, quite simply, easier than sending many emails out to people periodically to talk to them.
But it also depends on whether people read. Which is completely up to them.
Some of you may know that I have another blog - my LiveJournal. As of this entry, I am deciding to use that journal exclusively.
It is a Friends-Only journal, which means that most entries - pretty much all in which I talk about myself, my friends, my life - are locked to the users who are on my 'friends list'. It's sort of like Facebook, only in a journaling setting.
You will need a LiveJournal account to follow my postings there. (It's free, and you can sign up here.) If you would like to do that, go ahead, and I will add you there.
If you're going over there, see you on LiveJournal. (You should probably let me know - whether through email, sms, or even in person - so I know to add you!)
If not - no worries. There are many other ways to keep in contact. :)
Is there a total cosmic tally that only allows us one thing or the other? Something that says you will win, but you've already lost?
Choice is a very interesting word.
If you could only choose one thing in the entire world, what would it be?
Don't tell me. Don't even tell yourself. It's probably better that you never find out, because the knowledge that something is that precious is a curse.
When you have everything, you have everything to lose. When you have nothing, anything makes a difference.
Just because nobody understands what's wrong doesn't mean nothing is wrong.
If there are two people and option 1 hurts one of them, but option 2 hurts both, option 1 ultimately better.
Not that I have control over which option becomes the outcome. Either way, there's no happy ending.
You don't have to fall in love with someone for them to break your heart.
A choice is a decision. When you make one, there are always consequences. They don't only fall on you, but the people around you.
If your life is a web and your choices a juicy insect, some of the threads are going to break. The fragile ones will break first, of course, but depending how large the insect you want to capture is, stronger threads may break, too.
The thread you won't want to break is the foundation holding your web into place.
Problem is, with a web so long-spun, you can guess but without complete information (and information is never complete), it's difficult to know exactly which thread that is. Because the webs of our lives aren't spun by us alone, but by other people as well.
Most of the time we'll want to entice the insects, but sometimes they come in unbidden; often those we can't handle so well. The choice is then whether to get rid of it or allow it to struggle, tearing holes slowly but surely in the web.
So the question is - will the catch worth the threads you'll have to break? Is it worth the weakening of other threads as it thrashes and snags against them? Will it eventually consume the entire web and send you to start anew?
Only you can decide if it's worth it. Whatever it is, it'd better make you happy enough that in the end the sacrifices along the way are ephemeral.
Here's the other catch: when you lose a thread of your web, a thread vanishes from someone else's, too. And it could be their foundation - again, you'll never know.
Life is all about choices. Make the ones you can live with.
Life is cruel. It throws a curve ball and puts you in a position you never wanted, possibly even avoided. It was always going to hurt. But I guess you decided it was worth it.
Although I probably won't end up catching half of these, given my annual theatre-attending rate.
The Lovely Bones (Jan 15) ... which should be out already, though I haven't seen much advertising for it. Maybe it came and went without my noticing. Pity, because I've read the book and this would be a lovely film, done right. The trailer looks promising.
(The timing is right enough that I can hope for it to be on the plane next month, though ...)
Alice in Wonderland (Mar 5)
I don't really know about Tim Burton films, but holy crap, the cast here. Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Timothy Spall, Michael Sheen. (I remember a friend on LJ saying something like Jack Sparrow, Bellatrix Lestrange, Peter Pettigrew, and Aro - poor Alice!) Anyway, I think this would be interesting, though possibly more of creepy!interesting.
Green Zone (Mar 12)
Action flick, which I usually wouldn't care about. But ... MATT DAMON! He like totally made the Bourne series for me. I can just go drool at his awesomeness on the screen and enjoy it.
Letters to God (Apr 9)
I don't know about this one ... it looks like it has potential, but both ways. It could go down the My Sister's Keeper path and be utterly disappointing (then again, it's not a book-to-film, so maybe that will help), or it might be an I am Sam kind. Won't know unless I actually see it.
I can't find a trailer for Eclipse, and honestly after New Moon I'm not so sure I absolutely want to see it. Probably will end up as a see-how kind of thing.
This is one movie I will without question go see, though:
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Nov 19)
Hopefully not on opening day, all things considered, but some time in December. :P The trailer looks promising. Then again, all the HP trailers always looked promising. I think it's a good thing they split the book into two films, though. It would have been horribly packed with only one!
Disclaimer: Due to the very random nature of my brain at the moment, the following paragraphs may not connect to each other.
The one thing we can probably be certain about in life is that things will change. Circumstances change, people change, and the question is ... do we also change?
So much of our world is the people around us. Like a kaleidoscope, only of emotions - tweak one facet and the entire picture distorts and reforms. Break one connection and the threads have to find their proper pathways again.
There are times when everything that you've been sensing over a long time simply falls into place and the cryptic words finally make sense. And it just goes to show that no matter how active your sixth sense, the only time that you can really properly realise how things shape out ... is in the future.
Closing a chapter doesn't necessarily mean that the situations will not recur in the future. But until we get to that part of the book, we won't know. And in life, there isn't a way to skip ahead.
To be loved and happy is to walk a tightrope: too close to people and you tie your happiness to theirs. Too far and you cast yourself into loneliness.
I don't know if this has been the issue all along. If it is ... well, I guessed and it was denied and I understand why but I wish I'd somehow been able to help. I wish I still can. And I don't know how to say this.
Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.
